© by Gospel Light. Permission to photocopy granted. Ministering the Steps to Freedom in Christ.
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past, but you can be free from it. You can stop the pain, but there is only one way to do it –
forgive.
You forgive others for your sake so you can be free. Forgiveness is mainly a matter of
obedience to God. God wants you to be free, there is no other way.
Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin, but you are
going to live with those consequences anyway whether you like it or not. The only choice
you have is whether you will do so in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of
forgiveness. But no one truly forgives without accepting and suffering the pain of another
person’s sin. That can seem unfair and you may wonder where the justice is in it, but justice
is found at the Cross, which makes forgiveness legally and morally right. Jesus took the
eternal consequences of sin upon Himself. God “made Him who knew no sin to be sin on
our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21,
NASB). We, however, often suffer the temporary consequences of other peoples’ sins.
That is simply a harsh reality of life all of us have to face.
Do not wait for the other person to ask for your forgiveness before forgiving him or her.
They may never do so. Remember, Jesus did not wait for those who were crucifying Him to
apologize before He forgave them. Even while they mocked and jeered at Him, He prayed,
“Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NASB).
How do you forgive them from your heart? You allow God to bring to the surface the
painful emotions you feel toward those who have hurt you. If your forgiveness doesn’t
touch the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete. Too often we’re afraid of the
pain so we bury our emotions deep down inside us. Let God bring them to the surface so
He can begin to heal those damaged emotions.
Forgiveness is choosing not to hold someone’s sin against him or her anymore. It is
common for bitter people to bring up past issues with those who have hurt them. They want
them to feel bad. But we must let go of the past and choose to reject any thought of
revenge. This doesn’t mean you must continue to put up with the future sins of others. God
does not tolerate sin and neither should you. Don’t allow yourself to be continually abused
by others. Take a stand against sin while continuing to exercise grace and forgiveness
toward those who hurt you. You may need help in setting wise limits and boundaries to
protect yourself from further abuse.
Don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving. You will never get there. Make the hard
choice to forgive even if you don’t feel like it. Once you choose to forgive, Satan will have
lost his power over you in that area and God’s healing touch will be free to move. Freedom
is what you will gain right now, not necessarily an immediate change in feelings.
Now, you are ready to begin. Starting with the first person on your list, make the choice to forgive him or
her for every painful memory that comes to your mind. Focus on that individual until you are sure you have
dealt with all the remembered pain. Then work your way down the list in the same way.
As you begin forgiving people, God may bring to your mind painful memories you’ve totally forgotten. Let
Him do this even if it hurts. God wants you to be free; forgiving these people is the only way. Don’t try to
excuse the offender’s behavior, even if it is someone you are really close to.
Don’t say, “Lord please help me to forgive.” He is already helping you and will be with you all the way
through the process. Don’t say, “Lord, I want to forgive…” because that bypasses the hard choice you have
made. Say instead, “Lord, I choose to forgive….”