©By Gospel Light. Permission to copy granted ~ Ministering the Steps to Freedom in Christ
Remember our sins no more means that God will never use the past against us (Psalm 103:12).
Forgetting may be the result of forgiveness, but it is never the means of forgiveness. When we
bring up the past against others, we are saying we haven’t forgiven them.
Forgiveness is a choice, a crisis of the will. Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we
can do. However, forgiveness is difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice.
We want revenge for offenses suffered. However, we are told never to take our own revenge
(Romans 12:19). You say, “Why should I let them off the hook?” That is precisely the problem.
You are still hooked to them, still bound by your past. You can let them off your hook, but they
are never off God’s. He will deal with them fairly - something we cannot do.
You say, “You don’t understand how much this person hurt me!” But don’t you see, they are still
hurting you! How do you stop the pain? You don’t forgive someone for their sake; you do it for
your own sake so you can be free. Your need to forgive isn’t an issue between you and the
offender; it’s between you and God.
Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin. Forgiveness is
costly. You pay the price of the evil you forgive. You’re going to live with those consequences
whether you want to or not; your only choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of
unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness. Jesus took the consequences of your sin upon
Himself. All true forgiveness is substitutionary because no one really forgives without bearing
the consequences of the other person’s sin. God the Father “made Him who knew no sin to be
sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Where is the justice: It’s the cross that makes forgiveness legally and morally right: “For the
death that He died, He died to sin, once for all” (Romans 6:10).
Decide that you will bear the burdens of their offenses by not using that information against
them in the future. This doesn’t mean that you tolerate sin. You must set up scriptural
boundaries to prevent future abuse. Some may be required to testify for the sake of justice but
not for the purpose of seeking revenge from a bitter heart. How do you forgive from your heart?
You acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of
your life, it will be incomplete. Many feel the pain of interpersonal offenses, but they won’t or
don’t know how to acknowledge it. Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it.
This is where the healing takes place. Don’t wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will
never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made and Satan has lot
his place (Ephesians 4:26,27). Freedom is what will be gained, not a feeling.
As you pray, God may bring to mind offending people and experiences you have totally
forgotten. Let Him do it, even if it’s painful. Remember, you are doing this for your sake. God
wants you to be free. Don’t rationalize or explain the offender’s behavior. Forgiveness is dealing
with your pain and leaving the other person to God. Positive feelings will follow in time; freeing
you from the past is the critical issue right now. Don’t say, “Lord, please help me to forgive”
because He is already helping you. Don’t say, “Lord, I want to forgive,” because you are
bypassing the real choice to forgive, which is your responsibility. Focus on each individual until
you are sure you have dealt with all the remembered pain - what they did, how they hurt you,
how they made you feel: rejected, unloved, unworthy, dirty, etc.
You are now ready to forgive the people on your list so you can be free in Christ, with those
people no longer having any control over you. For each person on your list, pray aloud: